I’ve been so caught up in myself lately, guys. Only God knows how many blog posts I’ve written and trashed without posting. This is me, who said I would post as much as possible, no matter what. I don’t know what happened, really. I just wasn’t feeling any of the articles. They all seemed to lack the “it” factor. Boy, was I frustrated! As at yesterday night, I was asking my self, “Itoro, what the hell are you doing?”
This was not the plan. I was meant to be blogging back to back and achieving greatness. Yet there I was, watching the twin squirrels that hang out in the guava tree outside my window and feeling like a sore loser.
Even though it may not seem like it, my life is not necessarily exciting. I go to work, return home, stay indoors except I need to buy something and I sleep. I don’t visit people and I don’t get any visitors, except when I visit the ancient city of Benin. So I constantly have to look to myself for everything: company, happiness, entertainment, etc. It’s a very independent lifestyle and it’s everything I ever wanted but sometimes it can be overwhelming (even though I never admitted it until now).
This past week, I’ve been too broke to go anywhere (even if there’s no where to go), too broke to even buy some fried chicken to make myself happy and too bored for social media. I’ve been lowkey miserable and generally uninspired.
I think to a certain degree, most of us have had to battle loneliness in one way or the other. It’s never pretty. Loneliness is not something we like to acknowledge because we don’t want to seem weak or needy. But everyone gets weak, you know. So if you’re going through this phase, you could just face it head on.
Here’s how I’ve been dealing with mine: some prayer and a change of scenery. Yes prayer, because nothing gives solace like it. The second part is kind of tricky. Maybe like me, you can’t afford to leave where you are either because of responsibilities or finances. Well, how about you change your online scenery? It may sound silly but what I did was search for new blogs to visit; blogs I’d never heard of or never just got to visit, simple. I found The Confused Millennial (this one is great), Coffee with Summer (don’t worry, it’s not about drinking coffee), The Young Professional and a couple of others. Reading about the struggles of other young people is actually encouraging in a “no be only you waka come” type of way. And slowly, I’m coming out of myself again.
You could try this or recommend it to that friend who looks like he/she would rather be someplace other than this world. You could even try DIY blogs and learn something new. You’re not alone. Google is honestly your friend.