Lately, I’ve decided to take my time to form my opinions on topics of interest and not just join the bandwagon (unfortunately, this only works in the rare occasions where I remember that I need to act my age). You know the story that was making rounds on Twitter last week about the guy who asked his girlfriend to clear the plates he had been served food with in the girl’s parents’ home? Well, that’s the topic on my mind. See I never saw the original thread or tweet, I just kept seeing different versions of the same story. There was even a version where the guy was said to have signalled the girl’s mum to clear the table. Is it not Twitter again?
The things we argue about on social media platforms are very odunladeish at times (yes, odunladeish from the popular Odunlade meme).
Who should clear the table after eating? The last time I heard an argument about who should clear a meal table before last week was over 10 years ago when my sisters and I were always trying to escape doing the dishes after group meals. I had the ill luck of being younger than the rest of them, on top of that my younger sister was too little and too cute to do a thing. So you can understand why I always claimed to be satisfied halfway through the meal so I could easily run away before it was time to “pack plates”.
But that’s by the way. Since we are “woke”, we must discuss everything. Nobody ever quarrels about who should eat food but everything else is a problem. Aren’t we a selfish lot? So now we spend time debating on whose job it is to buy tissue and flush toilet, whose job it is to stand at the kitchen door and watch the other person sweat it out in the kitchen; pay the electricity bill, attend PTA meetings, etc.
People on social media make marriage very undesirable; like it’s all about strife and useless arguments, three seconds of matching outfits with corny hashtags like #KingingWithBae and anonymous messages to Break or Make up/ Joro Olumofin on Instagram. Who wants to deal with that kind of stress? Please if you’re not ready to marry, instead of being a source of discouragement to the rest of us, come back. Yes, come join the rest of us. We are plenty. We sleep in any position of our choice. Eat moi moi for breakfast and “brisket bone” for dinner. Come chill with us for a while and allow your brain to boot properly. Stop seeking for relationship advice on Twitter. Take your issues to the Lord in prayer. Meet with a qualified counsellor. Just allow the world to have peace, please. Thank you.
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