The last three days had to have been the most boring days of my life, guys. I have smelled boredom, tasted it and felt it on my skin. It is horrible. First of all Abangasang, my only friend in Uromi travelled for the Easter holiday. Then BEDC (Benin City Electricity Distribution Company) decided that I no longer have use for light, so since last Wednesday, tonight is the first time I’ve seen light.
I have counted my cornrows, cat walked around the compound, tried to learn the lyrics of Enrique Iglesias’ Subeme La Radio (because I’m a linguist duh!) and failed miserably. I’ve even held praise and worship sessions, you know, to invoke the Spirit to keep me company (thank you TY Bello for Holy Ghost Air). Long and short, I have seen things in this my small life.
In my quest for some form of fun, I went through my phone gallery and saw screenshots of clothes from Instagram, clothes I planned to sew. Some of them are over a year old. I cringed in shame. I could imagine God looking at me like a bad belle aunty who wants to know why you’re unmarried. I was ashamed of myself. I still am. I asked myself why? Why are we still in this place; this place that is heading in no direction at all, Itoro?
If I were to tell you the reasons why I haven’t made any of those dresses, they’d be very easy to understand; very good excuses. But you see, the thing with excuses is that no matter how good they seem to be, they are just excuses. They can’t renew your data subscription, or buy you Sharwama or enlarge your savings account. Excuses can’t help you succeed. They only make you feel justified in your action or inaction in my case.
I received a call today. A call that I’ve been waiting for, for about three months and it didn’t bear good tidings like I expected. I thought I would be mad and sad and get upset with God but I wasn’t. It was like light just came in to arrange all the skoin skoin in my head. And in some weird way, I feel free. Free to actually think about my life and make plans without second guessing everything.
So this April is dedicated to light. To direction. To filling up our days with so much life that boredom finds no chair to sit on. And I promise, that by the end of June, any dress I have not made will be…
…uploaded here (because I spent part of my life collecting those pictures from instagram, I can’t just delete them?).
Guys, let’s be brave. Brave enough to shun excuses and take our shots now!