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| See how pretty the yeye staph looks? |
Hello dear people of Blogsville. Wetin dey shele? It’s been a while I heard anyone say “shele”. It now sounds weird and even looks weird in writing, just like the time my dad said to me, “I dey kampe”. I started wondering if the man was having midlife crisis, I mean who says “kampe” anymore?
Anyway, today I was going to talk about weddings, I really was. However what happened, happened and I couldn’t resist the pull of today’s subject matter. I was at the market when drug peddlers or better put, staphylococcus benders (since all their drugs cure only staph), started their war cry:
“If madam dey complain say you no dey do well, and you get headache or your mouth dey pain, my brother na staphylococcus you don get so o! If when you dey sleep for night, e dey do you like say sometin dey waka for your body, no staphylococcus aereus. If you get painful menstruation, black menstruation or watery menstr…”
This was where I got angry! No, no, what is it? Is blood supposed to be thick or semisolid? Is it akamu? Why all these lies? Suddenly, staphylococcus that used to be one nonsense “circle-cirlce” bacteria in Essential Biology textbook has become a mini god in this country; a force to contend with. Somehow all our problems can now be linked to staph.
Are you a dull student? Staph must be eating your brain.
Are you jobless? Staph is blocking your destiny.
Are you having relationship problems? Your village people are using staph to keep you single for life…
Until when? When does it stop? Because staph is now competing for world’s baddest; not with HIV, Ebola or Lassa fever but with Satan! It stops now, please. Staphylococcus is a bacteria that can cause infections and diseases, it is not a sickness in itself.
If you fall sick, go to the hospital, get properly tested and stick to the doctor’s prescriptions and don’t forget to pray. Don’t go and collect one boko cleanser and cleanse yourself off the surface of the earth o! Just because the symptoms you feel match the ones they describe doesn’t mean that they know what is wrong with you. Stay alive so that you can keep visiting my blog, so I will prosper quickly!
Love,
Itoro.
Photo credit: Wikipedia
4 comments
Lol. I’ve heard those “war cries” so many times that they registered in my brain. I don’t like to remember unnecessary things but once they register, that’s it. Now, I have to begin the process of de-registering those rubbish. I hope meditation will help. ???
Bad dream too? Staph Almighty!!! Hehehe…thanks Zino
So I studied microbiology, and know a lot about S.aureus (staphylococcus). The first thing I know about it is dt staph is a normal flora ( some bacteria naturally live on or in humans without causing an infection) if I remember my virology well, they stay in some parts of the body and only cause an infection if they leave that site to another site. Do not poke ur nose is more of a hygiene thing than manners bcos u will carry staph from there to other parts where they can cause infection. I love virology…sometimes I wish I could arrest those drugs peddlers for misinforming d ignorant public…ji si ke my sis
Lmao, my dear. I've had enough of those drug sellers/self appointed diagnoses. Listening to them, I am convinced that the entire world has staph.
"If you dey get bad bad dream everytime, na staph dey cause am" lol.
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