• Home
  • Musings
  • Rants
  • Places
  • Peoplespirations
  • About me
  • Contact Me

Being Itoro Blog

  • Home
  • Musings
  • Rants
  • Places
  • Peoplespirations
Rants

Staph Almighty!

written by Itoro Obobikpe 12/08/2016

See how pretty the yeye staph looks?

Hello dear people of Blogsville. Wetin dey shele? It’s been a while I heard anyone say “shele”. It now sounds weird and even looks weird in writing, just like the time my dad said to me, “I dey kampe”. I started wondering if the man was having midlife crisis, I mean who says “kampe” anymore?

Anyway, today I was going to talk about weddings, I really was. However what happened, happened and I couldn’t resist the pull of today’s subject matter. I was at the market when drug peddlers or better put, staphylococcus benders (since all their drugs cure only staph), started their war cry:

“If madam dey complain say you no dey do well, and you get headache or your mouth dey pain, my brother na staphylococcus you don get so o! If when you dey sleep for night, e dey do you like say sometin dey waka for your body, no staphylococcus aereus. If you get painful menstruation, black menstruation or watery menstr…”

This was where I got angry! No, no, what is it? Is blood supposed to be thick or semisolid? Is it akamu? Why all these lies? Suddenly, staphylococcus that used to be one nonsense “circle-cirlce” bacteria in Essential Biology textbook has become a mini god in this country; a force to contend with. Somehow all our problems can now be linked to staph.
Are you a dull student? Staph must be eating your brain.
Are you jobless? Staph is blocking your destiny.
Are you having relationship problems? Your village people are using staph to keep you single for life…

Until when? When does it stop? Because staph is now competing for world’s baddest; not with HIV, Ebola or Lassa fever but with Satan! It stops now, please. Staphylococcus is a bacteria that can cause infections and diseases, it is not a sickness in itself.

 If you fall sick, go to the hospital, get properly tested and stick to the doctor’s prescriptions and don’t forget to pray.  Don’t go and collect one boko cleanser and cleanse yourself off the surface of the earth o! Just because the symptoms you feel match the ones they describe doesn’t mean that they know what is wrong with you. Stay alive so that you can keep visiting my blog, so I will prosper quickly!

Love,
Itoro.

Photo credit: Wikipedia

Staph Almighty! was last modified: June 5th, 2017 by Itoro Obobikpe
4 comments
0
Facebook Twitter Google + Pinterest
Itoro Obobikpe

previous post
The Things That Pepper Me in Public Transportation
next post
Throwback To My Initiation

You may also like

A Chicken Story -2

25/01/2018

Dear Mr Mark Hotshot Zuckerberg…

03/04/2017

They Ain’t Here, Baby!

26/09/2016

My Two Kobo

12/07/2017

The Interviewee

07/06/2017

Many are Mad

29/07/2017

Kitchen Horrors: Adalu

03/06/2017

Hashtag Baba Oyoyo!

19/08/2017

A Chicken Story

23/01/2018

On Being a Fine, Broke, Nigerian Girl

24/07/2016

4 comments

Ndianabasi 04/06/2017 at 12:37 AM

Lol. I’ve heard those “war cries” so many times that they registered in my brain. I don’t like to remember unnecessary things but once they register, that’s it. Now, I have to begin the process of de-registering those rubbish. I hope meditation will help. ???

Reply
Itoro Obobikpe 13/08/2016 at 6:01 AM

Bad dream too? Staph Almighty!!! Hehehe…thanks Zino

Reply
sylvia Amechi 13/08/2016 at 5:29 AM

So I studied microbiology, and know a lot about S.aureus (staphylococcus). The first thing I know about it is dt staph is a normal flora ( some bacteria naturally live on or in humans without causing an infection) if I remember my virology well, they stay in some parts of the body and only cause an infection if they leave that site to another site. Do not poke ur nose is more of a hygiene thing than manners bcos u will carry staph from there to other parts where they can cause infection. I love virology…sometimes I wish I could arrest those drugs peddlers for misinforming d ignorant public…ji si ke my sis

Reply
Ewomazino Gold 13/08/2016 at 12:00 AM

Lmao, my dear. I've had enough of those drug sellers/self appointed diagnoses. Listening to them, I am convinced that the entire world has staph.
"If you dey get bad bad dream everytime, na staph dey cause am" lol.

beingzino.blogspot.com

Reply

Leave a Comment Cancel Reply

About Me

About Me

Hello There!

I'm so glad you could make it. My name is Itoro and I'm a simple Nigerian girl. In 2016, I decided to conquer my fears and start blogging, and somehow I haven't quit yet. Whenever I'm not thinking of Zanzibar and chocolate cakes, I attempt to be a useful member of society. I hope you enjoy reading about my experiences and thoughts. Welcome!

Latest Posts

  • A Little Bit of Everything
  • A Comeback?
  • My Mother Never Met You, Imoh
  • The Resolutions Finale: Itoro
  • A Chicken Story -2

Connect with Me

Facebook Twitter Google + Instagram Linkedin

Categories

  • Featured
  • Hello Nollywood!!!
  • IDGC
  • Musings
  • People
  • People
  • Peoplespirations
  • Places
  • Rants
  • The Resolutions
  • Uncategorized

Me on Facebook

Facebook

Recent Posts

  • A Little Bit of Everything

    02/03/2019
  • A Comeback?

    23/07/2018
  • My Mother Never Met You, Imoh

    14/02/2018
  • The Resolutions Finale: Itoro

    31/01/2018

Search

Recent Comments

  • Boma on A Comeback?
  • Gloria on A Comeback?
  • Effiong on Why Me, Lord?
  • Gloria on The Resolutions: Gloria
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Google +
  • Instagram
  • Linkedin
Footer Logo

@2017 - Being Itoro Blog. All Right Reserved. Designed by Donkan Designs Technologies


Back To Top