Every Nigerian knows Klint the Drunk, the comedian. I mean, every Nigerian should! If you know him, then you must have heard his famous “Don’t Worry” parody. My favourite line from that song, or better put, the only line that I know is “You went to fix your hair in an expensive saloon, you came back looking like an expensive baboon…” Therefore, the Baboon phase is that period after visiting the salon, when you are in tears or very close because you can’t understand what’s going on on top of your head. Oya, let’s start at the very beginning.
This is what I wanted to look like…
I wanted to get my hair done. I already had the weave (“had” because what belongs to my sister belongs to me!) and Chigoziri, my neighbour had already introduced me to Aunty Favour’s salon. The reason I agreed to go to that salon may not be unconnected to the fact that I may be a cheapskate (even though I told myself it was because it’s the closest to my house), so this should give you a mental picture of the salon.
I should have known something was wrong when the apprentice started weaving my hair on my forehead, but I merely corrected her and moved on. By the time the hair was done, I was looking at the mirror and looking at Aunty Favour, confused as broken crushed noodles. “Aunty you say this is the Side Interlock-Parting?” I asked. Aunty Favour was smiling and calling me Tomato Jos. I just paid her, went home, brought out some hair rollers and started thinking of what to do with my life (read hair).
How did you deal with it?
Photo credits (in order of appearance).