Just yesterday, I caught wind of on-going recruitment in a reputable firm. Dorothy had sent me the link and said that I should apply. My colleagues at work were very pessimistic about it but Dorothy and I, two people who would rather refer to themselves as pre-rich or rich in the spiritual realm than acknowledge the fact that we are two broke girls, are the heroes of optimism. So backed by Dorothy the great, I filled out the forms which I did like three times because Globacom thinks that they are paying me to use their SIM card (no worries, the moment I rise like phoenix from the ashes, they won’t see my tail lights), uploaded my CV and learnt how to write cover letter in about five minutes. Thank you, Google!
After selling the best version of me to these people in my cover letter and CV, it was time to be assessed. I had the option of waiting for some time before taking the test, but Itoro is not afraid of tests. Itoro is an Annang woman and Annang women are never afraid. So, I called Dorothy:
Me: Mma, you have taken these tests. How were they?
Dorothy: oh, quite the basic stuff. It’s not hard, really.
Me: I hear there is Maths…
Dorothy: just simple arithmetic.
I said okay. Now here’s the problem with the above conversation:
1. I trust people too much.
2. Dorothy is a mechanical engineer who got upset because they wouldn’t let her teach further mathematics at her PPA.
3. Dorothy generally knows book too much. Her hobbies include impromptu trivia quizzes and reciting all the countries of the world and their capitals.
So why would I trust the judgment of such a person? I don’t know.
I started the assessment, answered the practice question and said to myself “piece of cake”. Hehehehehe! Men and brethren, do you know that I may have only answered half of the questions in the first test when my time elapsed? And this was verbal aptitude o, ordinary verbal aptitude. I was looking at my phone like Mr Odunade below.
Nobody told me to lose my chill when I got to the numbers test. I was looking at the questions with fire in my eyes daring the time to run out on me, giving answers I knew NOTHING about and generally being a force to contend with. Did I even stop to breathe, you might ask. Breathe what? Oxygen is for the weak! I was a woman on a mission to get employed, nothing could stop me, but then the time ran out again when I was two questions to being finished. By the third test, the abstract, I was giving them Itoro version 10.0. I completed the test and made sure I had time left to just breathe at least. I didn’t kill anybody; I just want to be successful.
You people should remember me in prayers, abeg.
Photo source: jaguda.com