See, I’m tired of this topic, to be honest. I’m sure some of us are too. I’m tired, not because it no longer interests me but because of how it makes me feel. Often, after receiving a report of death or fatal injury as a result of domestic violence, I ask myself, “why didn’t she run away? Why did she marry him? How can any person be so cruel to another human being?”…
The fact that the answers to these questions (if offered) will not make the violence “unhappen” just leaves a deep feeling of hopelessness and helplessness; like the world around me is falling apart and I can do nothing about it. And it’s a horrible feeling.
Why is it that after all the campaigns done on and the social media against domestic violence, we still hear tales and see cases of domestic violence? What are we not saying right?
My close friend had disclosed to me how she broke up with her boyfriend because he beat her up. She had scars from the thorough flogging she had received. It was heartbreaking rehashing the whole event to me. Seeing someone you’ve given your trust, your heart and maybe even your body, treat you like that is heartbreaking. I was glad that she walked away. Too glad.
A few weeks ago, I started seeing their pictures on social media. I was confused. I mean we were already discussing new bobos and what not. So I called her to know what was going on and then she told me they had gotten back together. In her words, “I decided to give it another shot”. I felt great fear. Every time I look at her pictures, I feel afraid. Afraid that one day, in the future, she’ll be trying to escape with her life from the “another shot”, afraid that she’ll become one of those clumsy aunties that are always falling down the stairs and falling in the bathroom and in the kitchen and everywhere a person can fall. I fear for her life.
Research has shown that a man who hits his woman once will most likely do it again, but my friend is “giving it another shot”. So I’m here wondering:
- What are the activists not saying right?
- How are young, educated, and beautiful women like my friend still falling for these kind of men?
- What can we do to save these women?
- Am I overreacting? Is my tatafo so much that I can’t mind my business?
If you have an answer or a thought, please share it with us, so we can learn.